So, this is the beginning. I think a good starting point for this whole project might be the truth. There are two things I am sure of at the moment. The first one is that I want to become a novelist. The second one is that I am stuck, stuck at the beginning. The reason I am writing is then to collect my thoughts in a place that I can find, because everything else I ever do gets irremediably lost.

Why am I stuck? I think I am unhappy. I can’t get myself to work any more. I postpone everything I have got to do. I can’t sleep well. I feel lonely most of the times and I am letting myself go. Is it all bad? I don’t know. I am trying to resist this powerful force that is pushing me down. How? Well, one thing I did for a bit was engaging in physical activities. I took up boxing and yoga and, for a while, I could see the benefits of the two activities. On one hand, that was because I did both in occupied gyms, so there was a social ethos to the thing and that felt very good. But I must say that moving was doing the trick. My mood was more stable, I felt more energetic. And yet, I have stopped.

I can’t help but notice that, no matter where I look, I am stuck. I am in a precarious financial position. It’s not dramatic, but not reassuring either. My health has now improved, but I underwent a bit of a shock last year. I am building some meaningful relationships for which I am ever grateful. But something is off. Something is simply off. And, worst of all, I am not really writing. I am not really working. I am avoiding. Waiting life out. So, I guess that the first little step of my journey as a writer will be to understand why I am stuck and try to get out of the mud. I hope.